Overrated! or, Beers I wouldn't buy

How to say "Douchey Beer" in Dutch?

Here at HH, we've devoted an inordinate amount of time to beer that we think you should try. Past favorites at the OS Brewery to see cybertime on HH include the Anderson Valley Summer Solstice; Erdinger's Weizen; Boulevard's Brettanomyces IPA; Founders' Double IPA; and more. Yes, we're lucky in this world: there is no shortage of beer worth drinking. Problem is, too many beers NOT worth drinking have found their way into the collective consciousness. Head to any "hip" club on a Friday night and, chances are, you'll find the clientele swilling Heineken's tasteless lager. Hit the beach with the fam or friends and you'll stumble across countless coolers filled with Corona's trademark watery pale pils. Join co-workers for a happy hour after closing the Big Deal, and Mike from Accounting will, with an entirely unearned air of wisdom, ask his barkeep for a Blue Moon.

Give Corona, BM and Heineken some credit: they've been able to brand themselves in a way few other beers have done. We're to the point where Heineken really is synonymous with the club; where Corona is the beach; where BM is the corporate gathering. It's a damn shame that people with enough disposible income are throwing away their money on beer with roughly the same amount of "taste" as a big-box American-style pilsner, but it's also a testament to the ad campaigns waged on behalf of these beers. The beauty of a Heineken (for Heineken) is that it's practically the same beer as a Budweiser; yet, people at the club will, without batting an eye, spend three extra dollars for it.

But, wise readers may ask, won't people RECOGNIZE that Heineken has about the same effect on the palate as a Miller Lite? And, once this happens, won't they laugh at the notion of paying $8 for a bottle of it at Love or Felix or 18th Street Lounge? Well, this hasn't happened; Heineken is as popular as ever. It astounds me to think that, for the price a bro will pay for a single Heine, he could have an Allagash White AND a Brooklyn Choc Stout at my bar. Yes, part of the (absurd) cost of the Heineken is a reflection of the fact that you're also paying for the "privilege" of being in one of those clubs; it's still, IMHO, a huge rip-off, no matter which way you look at it. (Esp. considering you've already paid a cover AND possibly paid to have them look after your jacket or coat AND probably paid for the drinks of other eligible singles in the hopes of taking them home, so that by the time you get around to buying yourself a Heineken, you're $40 shorter and exponentially more frustrated with that bouncer who kept you in line so the three ladies behind you could get in. These are just a few of the reasons your faithful blogger doesn't go to clubs.)

It's unreasonable to think that someone who goes to Love or Felix or the Lounge would want to order an Allagash White; AW deserves a lovely tulip glass, a warm summer evening, and a relaxing conversation with a friend. Still, there are plenty of beers you could theoretically order for less than a Heineken, all of which are considerably tastier. Here are a few possibilities:

Brooklyn Lager. If you're craving that smooth, lager flavor, why not spring for a BKL? More complex than Heineken, bottles tend to sell for around $4. (Or, if not available, consider a Scrimshaw Pils or a Lagunitas Pils.)

What drinking a BKL says about you: You have at least a passing familiarity with good beer; you're probably an urbanite with a decent job; you appreciate a good lager. All good signals to the opposite sex.

GET SOME!

Bells Oberon. Bells has great name recognition for a microbrewery; Oberon, besides the Two-Hearted Pale, has the best track record of their beers for its distribution size. Lemony and sweet, and about $5 a bottle, it looks great on a patio or poolside.

What drinking an Oberon says about you: You're a summery person; you like the outdoors, or at least the idea of it; and you appreciate a GOOD wheat beer (NOT BLUE MOON). Again, all positive things. See where I'm going with this?

Sierra Nevada Pale. Sierra is pretty played out by this point, but at least it's not a Heineken.

What drinking a SNP says about you: You understand, at a minimum, that there are beers besides Heineken and Bud. This may or may not reflect a curiosity and/or worldliness that people tend to find intriguing and, if you're lucky, arousing.

Guinness. People rag on Guinness for being so popular, but really, it's deserved: Guinness is a dry, smooth, elegant beer with great roasted caramel and coal notes. A great breakfast beer, too. (For you college kids out there.)

What drinking a Guinness says about you: You appreciate a good, long pour, which may or may not reflect a patient character.

New Brew-Ku:

Saw some bro drinking
A Blue Moon. Hope he knows how
Lame he looks right now.

Till tomorrow, y'all.

HH

Ogden Street Brewers Gallimaufry/Brew-Kus

Do you see what I see? Cause this is what I see.

Looking out my front door, beautiful Ogden lies before me. All sorts of characters here, hoo boy! Tall Reggie with the limp; That bald guy and his shifty hands; Old Lady who Always Asks for Change. Yup, the gang's all here. But wouldn't you know it? Things have quieted down around the neighborhood; your intrepid blogger remembers several years ago, when he first moved in...man, was the block hot in those days! The OS Brewers had to batten down the hatches back then. Bottling a cool new brew? Someone better post up at the window (gotta make sure the coast is clear.) Now? Hops and mulberries in the backyard, and a lot more peace and quiet out front. They say CoHi is changing. They're right. Soon, when the OS Community Brewpub opens for business, the Brewers will look back on those days and shake their heads. Think how bad it once was, We'll say. Think how far CoHi has come.

What we're working on:

1. Belgian-style Grand Cru. Needs to be bottled. We started this sucker with a dream, a promise, and the skeleton of a recipe from Papazian's HB v. III. Along the way, things got a little out of hand. OS Brewer Reid-O brought his coffee grinder down for kicks, and we had ourselves a little coriander party. Reid-O's grandfather donated a jug of organic honey (this s**t was the bees knees, son!) and we added an ounce at the beginning of the boiling for dryness, and again after the hopping for some sweetness. Yes, honey can be used for either purpose. You read that right. Also: some serious hopping went down. Fuggles, Challenger and Golden all entered the fray, in that order. This sweet-citrus-floral blonde brew is ready for bottles. First tasting when Sampson returns from his archaeological ambulating in Honduras.

WRONG CRU, Y'ALLS

2. Mulberry Ale. Needs to be brewed. We have about a pound of fresh organic mulberries from our backyard waiting to be pressed and added to the kettle. One potential snag brewers Sampson and Reid-O and advisor/guru/mentor Peter have touched on: at what point in the process do we add the fresh mulb juice? Could be added as early as with the malt; could be added along with the yeast...and anywhere in between. Reid-O and your humble brew-blogger seem to be of like mind: that our berries should be added right after the hops, as the wort cools and awaits its yeasty transformation (sounds kinda nasty, doesn't it?) If any wise fellow brewers out there have an opinion, we'd love to hear it.

3. Hops. Damn, these little guys are growing! We'll have full pics for you in the next couple of days, but suffice it say, they've come a looooooooong way since we planted them all of 10 weeks ago. From one little rhizome grow emperors and kings. Will they flower? Will they cone? A learned former brewmaster from Flying Dog enlightened us: The plants, he explained, produce a thin wax each night. As the wax burns off in the daytime heat, the plants know to grow up and out. And when the days begin to shorten and the wax no longer burns off, the plant takes this as a signal to grow buds. However, he cautioned, not every first-year hop plant produces cones. (Hops grow to maturity in 3 years; the first year, one can expect a 50% yield, if anything at all. The second year, this jumps to 75%. In the third year, a hop will produce, all else equal, as many cones as it ever will.) The consortium of OS Brewmeisters believes their hops will offer fragrant Cascade cones come September. (Insert generic "Audacity of our Hops" joke here).

4. Twitter. Follow us on Twitter. HeightsHops is what we're called, and there's a link in the sidebar. We'll be twittering all day and all night, bringing you up-to-the-minute info on DC brew news. Or, I guess you could just wait another 3 weeks for Greg Kitsock to put out yet another self-indulgent issue of Mid-Atlantic Brewing News. I mean, it's up to you. Heights Hops: Tweeting you into the Great Beery Beyond.

5. PA Brew-venture. A few OS Brewers are tentatively planning a pilgrammage to DE/PA. Among the holy sites on the itinerary: Dogfish Head; Troegs, Victory; Flying Fish; and Legacy. Interested? Done something similar and have some advice? Don't be afraid to twitter or comment on the blog. We want your help.

6. Finally, the OS Brewers want to advertise on your behalf. If you need a shot out on the blog for something local you've done, or want to do; or if you work for a bar or restaurant that needs to be heard; let us know. If the product is good, we'll rep you enthusiastically.

Another Brew-Ku

Going to a Nats
Game today; going to need
A stiff drink after.

What the OS Brewers are up to:
The OG is getting all marital and s**t
Reid-O is getting all operatic and s**t
Sampson is getting all anthropological and s**t
Bob is getting all national pastime and s**t


Till Friday, suckas.

HH